What we all need is some campground rules that work. Here are a few suggestions:
1- If the wind is blowing such that our flag is holding onto the pole for dear life, please don't start a camp fire.
2- Quiet hours are the same as young children's bedtime. If you don't want to be treated like a child, don't make noise.
3- If you are one of those pre-dawn departers, please push your rig out of the campground before starting the engine.
4- Don't pee in our pool and we won't pee in your campground water.
5- We have an area set aside for loud, excessive drinking partiers. It's at the bottom of the pool. Please use it as long as you would like.
6- Don't worry about helping us keep the bath house clean. Our full time maid and butler will do that for you.
7- For those who don't like others walking thru your campsite, please note that we sell claymore mines.
8- Rude complaints are handled in two ways: The punching bag at the front door and by registered mail.
9- Please clean up after your dog and put them on a lease. This rule is enforced by our two highy efficient staff members - Dobberman and Pitbull.
10- If the power goes out during a storm, please fill out a complaint form. We will submit that to the BOSS when we're at church on Sunday. Make sure your name is on the form.
11- If you have been known to repeatedly violate camp ground rules, we ask that you park squarely on the trap door at your assigned site.
Note: Failure to follow our rules will result in our changing your TV cable channels to Manderian Chinese without subtitles. But if you have never had a mama, then you are exempt from all rules.