Apr 20 2006, 03:24 PM
Downtown Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, SC.
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is
not to be confused with:
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.
The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
The 8am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2am Saturday.
Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh LEE-awn."
The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week.
Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.
I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South.
The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop."
If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.
Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before.
If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu, another ill-advised "import," like the
carp, starling, English sparrow, and other "exotic wonders."
Apr 20 2006, 09:48 PM
You identified your contribution as a joke but I suspect you may be closer to right than wrong. Anyway, it was hilarious!
Apr 26 2006, 12:51 PM
We lived in Atlanta for ten years prior to beginning our full-time RV lifestyle in July of 2005. We have been back for a visit for the last two weeks, and all I can tell you is that the poster REALLY knows Atlanta, and some of his comments, particularly the one about rush-hour, are not exaggerations but UNDERstatements. My rendition of rush hour is that it is ALL hours of the day from 5 a.m. to 9 p.m., except for 1:30 to 2:15 in the afternoon. (From 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. they are doing construction.) Incidentally, the I-285 perimeter of which he speaks is always under construction. This is because the construction crews are not aware that it is a circle and just keep going round and round . . .
We normally take pictures of the places we visit. The highlight of this visit is the view from State Route 400 as it crosses over I-285 at 5:30 p.m. in the afternoon. . . a sea of stopped cars to our left, a sea of stopped cars to our right, as seen from the stopped car in which we were sitting. Microsoft Streets and Trips has been a lifesaver in showing us the back roads and avoiding known
bottlenecks. Of course, the term bottleneck is in itself misleading, because it would seem to indicate that the roads mostly flow with some exceptions, when actually the reverse is true.
But the folks here are great, and there is wonderful food to be had. Try Swallow in the Hollow in Roswell for Barbecue, portabella mushroom sandwiches, beer and music!
Apr 26 2006, 06:56 PM
Thanks! I needed a good laugh! It may have been itended as a joke, but having "experienced" Atlanta a few times, every bit of it is true!
May 2 2006, 07:07 PM
You nailed Atlanta traffic pretty good WXJEFF. Especially the traffic congestion. You could have mentioned the young ladies in their shoe box sized cars, that dart from lane to lane, regardless of clearance, with a wide open throttle. I have come awful close to having to scrape them off the front of my coach.
May 3 2006, 10:03 AM
We really enjoyed these posts especially since we went through Atlanta 2 days ago. Apparently we were very lucky to sneak in and out during a non-rush hour time. We did try to ask for directions one time, but when the lady kept insisting that I-285 wasn't a loop we knew we were in trouble. Fortunately we found the right highway on our own. We are also enjoying our new mattress and ladder which we picked up on Peachtree.
May 12 2006, 03:40 PM
We lived in Alpharetta for 5 years. Loved the weather, loved our jobs, loved the sporting events which are easy to get tickets to in Atlanta, loved the outdoors activities, loved Lake Lanier.
Hated the traffic to the point that we've moved away to retire. Every May my husband would look forward to school getting out as traffic eased.....for awhile. By August, traffic was back to April levels and now the kids went back to school.
In every other place we've ever been, if you miss your turn, you can take the next turn going the same direction with some hope of getting where you need to be. Not Atlanta. Minus a compass, you have no idea which direction you're traveling. When you look at the names of the major surface streets, you can understand why. Every road is named for the bridge or ferry which crossed the Chatahoochee or Chatuga river. (McGinnis Ferry Road, Holcomb Bridge Road, Paces Ferry, etc) Of course, rivers don't run straight, so it's no wonder that roads to bridges or ferries don't run parallel!
One of the truly scary things about Atlanta traffic is how many people die in it. There is never a weekend that goes by without traffic fatalities someplace in the area. My theory is that people build up huge aggression levels sitting in traffic and then do dumb things that get them killed.
My favorite Atlanta suburban eccentricity was the morning bus stop routine. Everyplace else that we lived, people walked their kids to the bus stop (or, heaven forbid, let them walk with their friends). Not in Atlanta. At every single bus stop, every single morning, rain or shine, hot or cold, there is a line of idling SUVs holding precious children who would melt/freeze/blow away if they had to stand outside!
Atlanta is a great and beautiful place to live--if you can figure out how to avoid driving! And since 99% of all homes are in pocket subdivisions with a single entrance, this is virtually impossible. Even with driving, Atlanta is a great place for families to raise kids, with good jobs and a fairly cosmolitan population for a southern city.
May 12 2006, 06:40 PM
There are two Atlanta's on I-75. The one in Georgia and then a smaller but just as congested one called Dayton Ohio. Where continuous road construction goes on year around. Dayton also contains the only built in 90 degree left hand turn on all of North Bound I-75, or any other part of I-75, it is another nighmare.
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